


no proof, one touch but you felt enough

by quietcabeswater



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam is pining, Fluff, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Soft boys being soft, That's it, i'm having feelings okay, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-13 07:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11755206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietcabeswater/pseuds/quietcabeswater
Summary: Some times, Adam wants to hold Ronan's hand, and this is a collection of a few of them.





	1. I. abstinentia

**Author's Note:**

> hello beautiful people what's up? I'm having feelings about my boys being in love and holding hands so this is happening.
> 
> (title from taylor swift's "you are in love")

The sudden need for even more physical contact kept driving Adam insane.

At the moment, he was squeezed up between the cold metalic surface of the Camaro's rear door, and Ronan's warm body. He was used to finding Blue's hand in proximity to his, to hold it gingerly, bashful and uncertain. He remembered the heat radiating off her skin as they were glued to each other a couple of months ago in the same spot he was placed now. The difference, though, was that at some point, a switch had been flicked and instead of Blue's, Ronan's thigh was pressed against his own, and their knees kept bumping into each other as the car encountered a hole in the road or took an unexpected turn.

He tried to pinpoint the moment the dark haired girl had begun riding shotgun but after too many minutes without any fruitful results, he gave up. Which brought his mind right back to where he was struggling to escape from. Adam allowed himself a quick glance in Ronan's direction but the boy was caught up in a seemingly interesting conversation with Noah.

The way his face lit up when he smiled was otherworldly and Adam abruptly averted his gaze, as if shielding his eyes from the sun on a late, hot summer afternoon. Ronan's hand landed closer to him and caught his attention which made for another surge of heat to pass through Adam's body. How badly he wanted to hold it, just to see what it would feel like. Would it cut through his calloused fingers? Or would it be gentle and soft, would Ronan be capable of that? In light of recent events, he was leaning more toward the latter.

Adam crossed his arms over his chest, as if to cage his hands, denying them the opportunity to put his theories in practice, and moved his gaze from the spot where his and Ronan's legs were connected, to the forest looming in the distance.


	2. II. periculum

The energy floating in Cabeswater was out of the ordinary that day. Or maybe it was Adam who had a rather confusing change of perspective. Or maybe it was _both_.

He jumped slightly, startled by a rustle in a pile of auburn leaves at his feet. A little dream creature sprang up and in a moment was gone, as if it had never been there. The unease coiling up in his stomach grew more unpleasant and he found himself desperately searching for Ronan. The other boy seemed unbothered, even peaceful as his gaze trailed around, then settled on a beautiful pale buck. Ronan’s eyes twinkled as if the sun had taken shelter behind his eyelids, the scarlet glow reflected off the coppery leaves blending in with his bright blue irises. His long, ebony eyelashes were bathed in the golden evening light. _Angels would fall from grace to witness such breathtaking beauty_ , Adam thought.

After what felt like an eternity, Adam willed himself to look away, and the wrongness of the forest was still unsettling. He didn't notice that he'd drifted so close to Ronan but he was glad he did. He felt safer. As a chill iced the blood in his veins, he instinctively moved, his fingers barely brushing Ronan's hand which was now curled into a fist. The stillness that had ruled his being moments before (or it could have been hours, God knows how time worked in this damn forest) had shifted into unguarded worry. Whatever danger was threatening from behind the trees, Ronan could feel it, too.

“Something’s not right.” Adam whispered.

Their eyes met for a second, and then they left the dream in silent agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c'mon Adam just grab his hand, he won't mind. but hey, he's making progress *shrug*


	3. III. cautio

It had been a very unfortunate accident, to be honest.

They were coming more often to the barns now, it was their _thing_ , and for some reason, it pleased Adam to know that he was the one Ronan trusted this with. He wondered when they had begun separating into two groups, on one side Blue and Gansey, who started going on little adventures on their own first, and on the other side Ronan and him. Today they were trying to bring back another cure for Gansey that Ronan had been working on but so far things didn’t seem to go well.

When Ronan woke up with bloody hands covered in ugly cuts, Adam was deeply affected. It took him a moment and very strong will to leave Ronan in order to go looking for a first aid kit. When he returned, he took each one of the other boy’s hands in his own, and worked meticulously at each wound. He was slightly shaking, holding Ronan’s fingers with exaggerated caution, as if not to do them more damage with his touch, and apologizing each time Ronan flinched in pain.

When he finally finished, he didn’t let go, too afraid of the possibility that Ronan could get hurt again. Instead, Adam studied his fingers attentively, as if he were seeing them for the first time, and traced circles in his palms, hypnotized by the motion and the unsteady rhythm of his own heart.


	4. IV. proximitas

Adam lost count of how many times Ronan had shown up at his door in the past few weeks.

Sometimes he brought takeaway, which they both ate in silence as an excuse to make Adam take a break from his endless pile of homework, other times he brought his own textbooks and they studied together for Latin papers, which was the only subject Ronan actually enjoyed. Sometimes, Ronan tucked Adam to sleep and then left for a midnight drive to clear his thoughts but most times, he took the blanket Adam kept folded under his pillow and stretched it on the floor, falling asleep along with the other boy.

Tonight, he was bare-handed and climbed up into Adam’s bed, putting on his headphones. At Adam’s confused stare, Ronan gestured for him to return to his homework and pay him no mind. It was difficult to concentrate on World War I when Ronan Lynch was sprawled on his bed like that. Seeing his distress, the other boy rose from his place on the mattress and stood in front of Adam’s chair.

“You’ve read that page at least 15 times already, Parrish, the words aren’t going to change.”

And as Adam let out a soft exhale, Ronan took his hand and lifted him off the chair. It was not the best decision he ever made because Adam, taken by surprise, tripped, and they found themselves suddenly standing too close to each other, hands still clasped together. They regarded each other for a while, unsure of what to do next. Letting go was the last thing running through their minds. Ronan swallowed audibly and his eyes flickered quickly to Adam’s lips, then up again.

“Go to sleep, Adam.” He said, guiding him to his bed and made sure he was comfortable before taking his usual place on the floor. Neither of them slept much that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean they invented mutual pining


	5. V. liberi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ronan Lynch was ticklish"

All it took was a miscalculated movement on Blue's part who was patching up Ronan's wounded abdomen after another failed attempt at bringing something back from Cabeswater. At a too light touch, Ronan jerked and hunched forward for a moment, letting out a flow of unflattering curse words but not being able to hide a barely-there chuckle. Ronan Lynch was ticklish and Adam took a mental note to reflect on that incredible discovery later.

Fast forward almost a week, while they were sitting cross-legged in front of each other on the small bed in Adam’s St. Agnes apartment, Ronan’s soft tapping on the textbook's pages was the only thing Adam could concentrate on.

"Give me your hand."

"What the hell, Parrish? You gonna try and read my future or what?"

"Don't be an asshole!" Adam said while letting his book down and putting his own hand forward as an invitation. Ronan obliged, his features shifting to reveal a veil of confusion.  
When Adam took his hand, the room seemed to shrink. Suddenly they felt too big to fit in the world. He traced a few patterns along Ronan's palm which made his breath hitch and Adam vaguely remembered his reaction at Blue's touch. He felt the other’s boy intent stare on his face but he didn’t dare to meet it, afraid of what might be read in his eyes. He didn't actually think his next move through but it happened anyway. What did they say about spontaneous actions turning into unforgettable moments?

Adam drew Ronan closer by his hand and started a tickling war with his free one, escaping a mischievous laugh. His advantage was that he knew Ronan’s weak spot (or at least one of them) but it didn’t last long until Ronan’s fingers found their way into the crook of Adam’s neck.

“Stooop, Ronan… no, stop!” he giggled barely breathing.

“You started it!” He mouthed, still grinning as he fell back onto the mattress from the effort, and dragged Adam after him.

They should have probably untangled from each other, retaken their places on opposite sides of the bed, gone back to studying. They could’ve done all that, but neither of them wanted to. Consequently, still beaming, Adam rested his head on Ronan’s chest and studied their still entwined fingers until he fell asleep listening to a strong and persistent heartbeat.


End file.
